Rockin'

Ah....i'm sick AGAIN.

I wonder if it's because I hardly sleep nowadays.  I suppose I should be gettin somemore, but I just don't get tired as easily anymore.  Anyway, i'm doing a lot better now, I don't feel so hurt anymore.  It's probably because I'm focused on other things.  My dancing, my schoolwork, my family, AND BEING 18!
Lots of people I know aren't taking advantage of being 18.  Geeze guys, you really oughta! 

The best part about it, is that I'm HAPPY

In the end, that's all that really matters.  I can't believe I'm saying this but I truely love my stepdad for his wisdom.  Sometimes it takes a real beatdown for things to sink in haha.  Let's just say I know a lot more than I did yesterday, the day before that, but a lot less today compared to what I'll know tomorrow.

It's a really weird place where my heart is right now.  It's kinda like being in some type of dream state, where if I stay asleep or wake up I wouldn't mind it either way.  People live on, people choose their own ways to live on.  For me, it's a secret haha.  I enjoy the training which gets my mind off of thinking too much, I enjoy thinking because it allows me to reflect upon what I need to do.  There really isn't a right or wrong to the choices I've got, it's just "my" choice, and so I feel good about that. 

Am I confusing you? I hope so hahaha...

"I understand everything now, and even if I don't get exactly what I want, it's ok because I've become a better person than I once was."

Agito

Heads up! today i'm feeling very grand!

Thanks Riku for cheering me up! =D
Thanks Sarah for keeping me in check xD

AND THATS EVERYONE ELSE! You're all just too awesome for words!

Tomorrow I should be going to Oedipus's house with Captain and one of the 3 ugly witches (hahha inside joke), we're doing a Macbeth project and I'm stoked for it!  ^_^

Agito

Mochi: Ah...Hamtaro ka?
Hamtaro: Kyuu! Mochi sama! Daijoubu desu ka?
Mochi: Ano....eh..maa maa deshita ^_^

Road to Recovery: 28%

I don't know why but last night I felt really afraid and terrified.

Sometimes you get this feeling in your gut, where you feel like something is really wrong.  That's how I felt last night after my friends left the house.  I don't know, I felt like something was wrong, like someone I knew got hurt or is going to get hurt or is in some kind of trouble. I kinda got that feeling again somewhere in the middle of the night, I woke up in a cold sweat and was looking around my room for something, but the funny thing was that I was still half asleep, and I could feel myself looking around and mumbling words.

I could just be imagining things, but I felt so afraid...

Well something else weird is happening to me too.  I don't really know how to put this....uhm...I guess you could say that the pervertedness inside of me is dimming.  I just...can't seem to get all in that "feeling" anymore.  You know, everybody once i a while thinks about something "dirty" or "hot" that makes em wanna just go "unf" or something.  Yeah well I...I was thinking about something, but then something in my head and heart just couldn't do it.  I felt like there was nothing good or fun about it.  I couldn't do anything.  I'm trying to make this sound serious but to you it probably sounds funny.  *sigh*....thoughts about sex and stuff..it's just....not the same right now since my break up...I don't even want to think about sex let alone consider it...or self pleasure.  It's like ...I just can't feel anything good of it anymore.  I sometimes feel myself cringe at the thought now...and kinda wanna barf.

I hope it's a phase..if ever I fall in love again I don't want to barf or get cold feet during something like that haha.

Today...I don't know...I feel very out of place.

Agito